Together

A lovely introspective piece told from Daniel’s POV. After Vala’s reminded of one of her false Dominion memories, Daniel follows her as she runs off. They fall into an honest conversation about her fears of what relying too much on people is doing to her, and it helps Daniel reflect on Vala’s behavior over the last few weeks and the way he’s let his own fears drive his own behavior in response.

Daniel’s internal reflections during this conversation are some of the best observations of their relationship I’ve read. There are so many great lines that gave me food for thought. Too many to mention them all, but here are a few favorites:

Nevertheless, lately he started to push her away, afraid that his inability to easily reconcile her many seeming contradictions meant he was trying to see something that was not truly there.

Daniel’s reflecting on why he’s pushing Vala away lately, and he realizes he isn’t sure what to make of the insight he’s gaining as he gets to know her beyond the façade she presents. He doesn’t know if he can trust how this insight is impacting the way he thinks and feels about her, so he’s pulling away more and more because those glimpses are making him more attached. Very inline with Daniel’s defense mechanisms and a good example of how both of their insecurities feed off each other.

Hadn’t he been fulfilling her fears by pretending not to need her?

I think this is the crucial ah-ha moment Daniel needs to see and ask himself in order to let down his shields. He couldn’t take her seriously in the Unending alternate timeline until he saw she could genuinely be hurt by him, and I think that’d stay the case in the main timeline. Baring them slowly developing that understanding of each other over years, he would need to see Vala in an honest moment, displaying the reality of those fears in her. They have very similar motivations behind the walls they build, and because he understands those fears deeply, he wouldn’t be able to help but reassure her. Their friendship is something he’s careful not to push too far because of the attraction between them. If they support each other in a completely genuine way as friends, the feelings will inevitably come to the surface.

Maybe that had always been his trouble. From the first time he met her, his instincts were at war with his intellect. His gut feeling could not be quantified or logically proven, so he waffled between certainty and insanity.

Again, such perfectly Daniel behavior, and such a wonderful description of the spark and the push and pull between them. His ‘gut’ (or his heart) knew before he could rationalize it properly. Hence the push back, the irritation (even long past she’d proven herself), and his waffling opinion of her. He didn’t want those feelings, he didn’t want them for her, and the fact that they’re there just pisses him off. That segues into my last quote nicely, when Daniel says:

“You made me feel even when I didn’t want to.”

I think she was hit with a similar feeling when she met him, and they couldn’t help but be drawn to each other anyway. This is just part of the magic of Daniel and Vala, and it’s exactly why I’ll both never stop reading these stories and why I will go down with this Ship 💖